You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
