you win again, gameday.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
