:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
