He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
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I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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