you traded sex for a burrito?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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