thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
