I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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