I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We left an ass print on the piano.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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