So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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