I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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