Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
