Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
