Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
