the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
