Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.

(360): View more from Washington

I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.

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(503): Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch. (360): I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/x3ve

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(303): View more from Colorado

No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.

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(303): No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting. http://tfl.nu/foam

Replies (7) Good night (4181) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
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(573): View more from Missouri

just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.

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(573): just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist. http://tfl.nu/hmuv

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(905): View more from Ontario

Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.

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(905): Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home. http://tfl.nu/by9e

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(303): View more from Colorado

This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.

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(303): This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now. http://tfl.nu/jc3w

Replies (25) Good night (1251) Bad night (4894)
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(330): View more from Ohio

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.

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(330): WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL. http://tfl.nu/0dj7

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...

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(304): Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof... http://tfl.nu/amda

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.

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(606): I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm. http://tfl.nu/129h

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(989): View more from Michigan

i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.

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(989): i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway. http://tfl.nu/zfm5

Replies (1) Good night (2389) Bad night (520)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus

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(204): Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus http://tfl.nu/ux11

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(407): View more from Florida

I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl

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(407): I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl http://tfl.nu/1s7i

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...

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(+44): The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off... http://tfl.nu/dj4h

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(315): View more from New York

A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos

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(315): A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos http://tfl.nu/8sxj

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(316): View more from Kansas

Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been

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(316): Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been http://tfl.nu/3z2b

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(563): View more from Iowa

I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.

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(563): I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused. http://tfl.nu/bg7n

Replies (6) Good night (480) Bad night (302) Order T-Shirt

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