My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
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i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.