oh good, I think they're gone
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great