dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???