Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
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Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
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The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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