That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
