so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
