You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
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I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
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Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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