no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
