real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
