That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
