k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
