would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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