I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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