69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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