I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
