Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
