If that was your dad, he is hot
I looked at my own cervix.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
