i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
