Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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