I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
