Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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