I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
