I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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