i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize