i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
