Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
