Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
