Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
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