He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Your dad touched me again.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my sisters under your porch take her home
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
