it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
