Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
