That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
