what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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