I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
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Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
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The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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