3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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