I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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