I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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