I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize