did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
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I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
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I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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