they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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