Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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