Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
