so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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