"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Randomize