I hate your face
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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