I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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