Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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