That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
