He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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