I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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