how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
