My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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