I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
